


To be so Lonely

by Ineedapuppyandsomevodka



Series: Buddie Prompt fills [9]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, buck is sad, eddie just wants to fix it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:08:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28884405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ineedapuppyandsomevodka/pseuds/Ineedapuppyandsomevodka
Summary: Prompts from Donut247hey:“And that makes it okay?”Why are your eyes so red?Is that what you think of me?
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: Buddie Prompt fills [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2107398
Comments: 2
Kudos: 67





	To be so Lonely

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Donut247hey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donut247hey/gifts).



Buck’s been in a mood. Eddie isn’t entirely sure what mood he would call it but he knows that all week Buck hasn’t been himself. He still shows up to work, smiles when it’s appropriate, and participates in conversation. 

The thing is, he shows up to work, but it’s like he’s left a part of him at home. When he smiles, it never reaches his eyes. And sure, yeah, he participates in conversations but he never starts them. There have been a lot fewer random facts generated from God knows where, and it’s really starting to get on Eddie’s nerves. 

He’s asked him a few times if there’s something going on and Buck brushes him off. Eddie has let it slide thus far but he can’t seem to escape this aching sense that Buck isn’t okay. 

“Why are your eyes all red?” He asks him one day when it’s just the two of them cooking breakfast in the kitchen. 

“It’s the onion,” Buck says, gesturing to the green onion that he had on his cutting board. 

“Is it though?” Eddie says, watching his facial expressions carefully. 

“It’s fine, Eddie, just leave it. It’s not like you care, anyway.” 

“Is that what you think of me? That I don’t care?” He quirks a brow, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “I’m not going to leave it.” 

“That’s not what I meant to say,” Buck recedes, his eyes not leaving the cutting board. 

“And that makes it okay?” Eddie says, and he has to check himself. Getting upset with him was not how to make it better. If anything, with Buck, getting upset will only make things worse. “What did you mean to say, Buck? What’s going on with you? You’ve been off for weeks.”

“It’s nothing, Eddie,” Buck purses his lips together, then starts cutting up the mushrooms that Eddie had washed for him. 

“Buck, it’s not nothing, this has been bothering you for weeks. Please tell me what’s going on.” 

“You’re gonna think I’m stupid.”

“I’d never think you’re stupid,” Eddie says. An idiot, sure, but never stupid. Buck was one of the smartest people he knew. 

“I...” He starts, glances around the station to make sure that they’re the only ones who can hear. Eddie gives him time, his expression open and caring. “You all have lives, you know? You have Chris, Chim has Maddie, Hen has Karen and the kids, Bobby has Athena... and then there’s me. Sometimes it feels like it’s just me, and you all have lives outside of this job, and I just... I’m trying to navigate that, but it’s just really... lonely.”

Eddie purses his lips together. He gets it, honestly. He wants to take that loneliness away, and hug Buck until the sun goes down and he knows that he’s loved and that people care about him. He wants him to know that he has a life outside of the fire station and that he sees him as a huge part of his life. He wants to hold him and tell him that everything is going to be okay. 

“That’s not stupid, Buck,” he says instead and pulls him in for a tight hug. He pulls away quickly and leans against the counter. “I just want you to know that I always see it as you, me, and Chris. Not just me and Chris. Chris’s world is a lot better with you in it, and you’re always welcome to come over. You don’t even have to ask. You’re apart of my family, even if you don’t think you are.” 

That seems to ease whatever tension had been building in Buck’s shoulders. It brings a smile that reaches his eyes, and Eddie can breathe a little easier knowing that _this_ was something he could try and fix.


End file.
